A Table In the Wilderness

I was driving home on the freeway a few weeks ago and I was reflecting on my families current financial situation. I began to reflect and pray. I don't ask "why" anymore and I don't negotiate with Him either. But I began to preach truth to myself about who I know God to be.
I have been married 17 years and the majority of my marriage, 14 of the 17 years, we have been self-employed. Being self-employed you always have a sense and know where your provisions come from. More times than not you can see God's hand in bringing provision to you and your family.
Psalm 78 is a depiction of what God did for the Israelites in the desert in the book of Exodus. The psalmist was writing to use the history of Israel to show and teach the graciousness of God even in spite of their ancestors' rebellion and ingratitude.

Psalm 78:6-8

That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born,

That they may arise and tell them to their children,

That they should put their confidence in God

And not forget the works of God,

But keep His commandments,

And not be like their fathers,

A stubborn and rebellious generation,

A generation that did not prepare its heart

And whose spirit was not faithful to God.

v.10 They did not keep the covenant of God

And refused to walk in His law;

They forgot His deeds

And His miracles that He had shown them.

v.13-15 He divided the sea and caused them to pass through,

And He made the waters stand up like a heap.

Then He led them with the cloud by day

And all the night with a light of fire.

He split the rocks in the wilderness

And gave them abundant drink like the ocean depths.

v.17-19 Yet they still continued to sin against Him,

To rebel against the Most High in the desert.

And in their heart they put God to the test

By asking food according to their desire.

Then they spoke against God;

They said, "Can God prepare a table in the wilderness?

As my exit was nearing I came to this realization and it came over me with joy. I have seen God time and time and time again provide for me and my family....but why do I continue to doubt and question Him and ask Him to do it again? "Can YOU prepare a table in the wilderness?" Why would He stop after so many years of continual provision for us. I won't be like the Israelites who could see God's provision first hand in the desert by God providing manna from heaven, water from a rock and quail dropping in the midst of their camp and they continued to doubt and test Him by asking, "can YOU prepare a table in the wilderness?"

I will remember and believe what He has done in the past and He will continue to do so because that is who He is......

Psalm 78:35

And they remembered that God was their rock,

And the Most High their Redeemer.

My Hope is in Him

Since my last blog ...literally from the minute I pushed "enter" life has been a series of tests. A series of test that keep asking me repeatedly...do you believe what you preach? A series of waves that come and keep coming....wave after wave.

I grew up in Southern California and as a young girl learned to play and swim in the ocean. When you are closer to the shore you can jump over the waves or you can turn your back and let your back take the brunt of the wave. As you feel more confident you venture out farther into the ocean and realize that I can't jump nor turn my back to the wave but I need to make a "judgment call" and figure out what to do next so the impact of the wave doesn't hurt. You desperately try and analyze the situation and these are your choices....a) you can decide to either swim under the wave b) try to swim fast enough to get over the wave before it breaks or c) swim with the wave and ride it the shore. Most of the time you can be out in the ocean and be able to judge the waves and make accurate decisions BUT there are some times when your decision isn't so clear and you make a decision that hurts.....you swim and you swim to make it before the wave breaks but you're too late and you dive into the white water and the tumbling begins. The strength and the power of the wave hits you and it hits you hard.... to the point where it slams you into the sand and than you start to tumble and you don't know which way is up and before you know it another wave hits you before you can take another breath. Sometimes panic starts to set in and you wonder if you'll ever be able to get out of water and come to the top to take a breath ....a breath of relief from the waves that keep hitting you.

I think the Psalmist of Psalm 42 knew what it was like to swim in the ocean of life and know what it was like to try and swim fast enough to not get caught in the white water.

Psalm 42:5 -8

Why are you in despair, O my soul?

And why have you become disturbed within me?

Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him

For the help of His presence.

O my God, my soul is in despair within me;

Therefore I remember You from the land of Jordan

And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls;

All your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.

The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;

And His song will be with me in the night,

A prayer to the God of my life.

When you're out in the water of life.....You will swim out far enough to where the waves no longer break. And you'll be able to look back and see the waves (trials) of our life and see how God used those waves to make you more like our Saviour. He uses those waves to teach us about our sinful self and that we need Him. He wants us to put our hope in Him. When we're out there you realize that He was the one that gave you the strength and grace to weather the storm of the beating waves. I will repent of my doubtful ways when I question the waves.

"Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him

The help of my countenance and my God." v.11

Eve is my Sista

Have you ever felt bad for anyone? Who do you think of? I feel bad for Eve...yes Eve from the book of Genesis. She's the one that started this whole mess of the Fall...didn't she? We blame her for "pain in childbirth" and for our struggles with our relationships with our husbands (Genesis 3:16). She's the one that got all of us into this mess with this fallen world.
We are more evolved than she could ever be with our college degrees, life experiences or even street smarts. If we were given the chance we wouldn't of fallen for the lie that the Serpent gave her. No, we never would of fallen for his tricks!

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made.

And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You

shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.' " The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took

from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. The the eyes

of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked;and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

I don't think we're any different from our dear friend Eve. Nothing has changed from that day in the garden. I think everyday we make choices of who and what we love by what we hold close and dear. What we think we can live and live without. I think if we were all given the opportunity we'd all fall into the same trap that Eve did. We do everyday....

There's a lie that you believe. Do you know what it is? When you question God when life hurts...you believe the lie. When you ask, "why me God?" You believe the lie. When you say, "I don't deserve this?" You believe the lie. When God isn't enough and you go searching for something or someone to fill that hole...you believe the lie.

Its not until we can say.....

Though the fig tree should not blossom

And there be no fruit on the vines,

Though the yield of the olive should fail

And the fields produce no food,

Though the flock should be cut off from the fold

And there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the Lord,

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength,

And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,

And makes me walk on my high places.

Habakkuk 3: 17-19

It's when all we want is God....that is when we STOP believing the lies. So learn from our sista Eve....let's not cast our stones at her but let's learn from her....and don't believe the lies the deceiver is trying to feed you.

What is Your One Thing?

I was driving down the road with my youngest son seating in the front passenger seat. If you were to meet Noah you might say he's shy but if you're alone with Noah you find out pretty quickly that he isn't shy. From the time he got in the car and I asked "how's school today?" it was non-stop talking on his part. He had all of my attention to himself.
A break of silence and than a question came, "Mom if you could do anything in the whole world what would you do?" I really had to think ...there was a long pause in the car. "Let me think about that Noah."
I have a question for you....What is your One Thing? Paul David Tripp posts this question in his book, "A Shelter in the Time of Storm". Paul David Tripp asks, What is the the one thing that your heart craves? What is the one thing that you think would change your life? What is the one thing that you look to for satisfaction, contentment, or peace? What is the one thing that fills your daydreams and commands your sleepy meditations?

Matthew 6:21 says, "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Paul David Tripp states, "The spiritual reality for many of us is that the one thing is not the Lord. And the danger in that reality is this: your one thing will control your heart, and whatever controls your heart will exercise inescapable influence over your words, choices, and actions. Your one thing will become that which shapes and directs your responses of the situations and relationships of your daily life. If the Lord isn't your one thing, the thing that is your one thing will be your functional lord.
Here is what you say to yourself when something is your one thing: 'Life has meaning and I have worth only if I have _____________ in my life.' The problem is that the one-thing catalog is virtually endless."

What do you think is on this endless list...let's see! Power, Approval, Comfort, Image, Control, Dependence (someone there to keep you safe), Independence, Inclusion (if a particular social or professional group lets me into their inner ring), Achievement, Prosperity, Work, Religion (if I'm adhering to my religion's codes and accomplished in its activities), Irreligious (totally independent of organized religion and have a self made morality), A person, Family, Helping & Suffering.

Paul David Tripp shares, "in every situation and relationship of your everyday life, there is one-thing war being fought on the turf of your heart. You and I are safe only when the Lord really is the one thing that commands our hearts and controls our actions. There are many things that compete with HIM as the one thing that your heart craves."

As we came around the corner of our home, Noah couldn't stand the silence any longer and had to tell me the answer to his question for him. "Mom, I would invent wings like a bird so I could fly!" I didn't come up with an answer to Noah's question. I wished that I could of answered like King David did in Psalm 27:4, "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple." King David was known as a man after God's own heart. We know that he wasn't a perfect man by no means but the one thing that he did know and kept in the right perspective was that he was a sinner in need of a His God. He had the right perspective of who he was and who God is. I hope that one day I would be known as a "Woman after God's own heart." Until than I will fight the idols that wage war after my heart and seek after the One Thing - Jesus My Groom.

I AM RESOLVED

Some say I'm different, some say I'm more involved at church BUT I say I'm Resolved....
It was like no other Sunday. I was sitting there with my hubby and my three boys at church and I open the church bullentin. Posted was the RESOLVED conference with dates and "needed one more van and adult chaperone." What is this RESOLVED conference and what is it about? Ok...its a college conference and its in Palm Springs,CA. I thought to myself I would love to get away for a few days in Palm Springs. I thought I could take Benjamin my oldest (13 years old at the time), be a chaperone and drive my van. Easy! I lean over to show the bullentin to my hubby and ask, "Can I go to RESOLVED? They need a chaperone and a van. I'll take Benjamin too...what do you think?" A nod of the head and the decision was made. I am going to RESOLVED 08' in 2 weeks.
7:30 am Friday morning we met at church. We're on the road by 8:30am. A car full of young adults. What can I say...but we were having a blast. I was getting to know them and they were getting to know me. Within our 10 hour drive we had nicknames for each other and the van. I had fallen in love with the kids in my car and adopted them all before we even got to Southern California.
We arrived into Palm Springs with not much time to spare. We checked into the hotel to just grab our room keys and throw our bags in the room and than we were off to the Palm Springs Convention Center.
The meeting room's lights were dimming and music was beginning to play. We didn't have the greatest seats but it seemed like no seat was actually a bad seat. The room went dark and the video began. It was a video with a a man standing in the desert and he picks up a SOLD sign out of the ground and throws it and begins to run into the empty field. He's running and running into the desert field. Music is playing and he stops in the middle of this waste land of a desert and starts to dig into the sand. Digging and digging like he was searching for something he'd lost. The video was depicting Matthew 13:44 "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. The treasure is his salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. Tears started to well up. The conference begins. The speaker that night, Rick Holland, introduces us to Jonathon Edwards. He was 19 years old when he wrote 70 Resolutions. Resolutions that he live by. He shared with us Resolution #7 "Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life." RESOLVED 08 topic was on Heaven & Hell.
They dismissed us for the night and I asked some of the kids if they wanted to meet some of my friends that were there. I took 4 or 5 of them to the front and on my way there I see a friend of mine that I didn't expect to see from my home church in LA. We hugged and I introduced her to the kids that were with me and she says to them, "I remember her when she was your age?" As I look behind me to look at their response, it hits me! A blink of an eye ago I was them. It was just yesturday that I was in their shoes.
When I was their age, I left everything I had and put my clothes in garbage bags and left my life of sin. I left my boyfriend and all I knew on a Friday and on that Sunday I was at church. I was done believing and living the lies of the world. I wanted the treasure that was buried in that field. My groom and my treasure....Jesus Christ!I remember it vividly ...I prayed and committed to my Groom that He was my "first love."
There wasn't a speaker that I didn't like. I can't remember who said it but one of them said, "you might spend 70 years here on earth but you will spend an eternity somewhere. Where will you spend eternity?" Death was a reality in my life. My mother in law had taken her life just a few months prior. I got to witness first hand what a person does who puts their hope and trust in this world.
I could give you a long list of how RESOLVED impacted me but most of all God used it to show me that I had become "lukewarm" and I had allowed the idols of this world get in the way of my "first love." I want to serve my Groom with my life. We don't know how long we are here for? So I will take on Resolution #7 - "Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life."
So come with me as I go to the desert, like Moses, to meet God and see Him face to face. Go with me up to the mountain, take off your sandels and ask God to reveal His glory. He will put you in the cleft of the rock as He did me and He will put His hand over you and reveal His glory.
Are you RESOLVED?